I’m 24 years old and have been dating a 25-year-old woman for a year yet it is only recently that I discovered she has a three-year-old child.
She now wants to get married to me. I’m not ready to get married and I don’t know if I’m ready to accept her child.
I told her this but she still wants to be with me. She had said she would leave if I found another partner but when I told her that I had found someone, she pretended to be pregnant. What will I do because I don’t want to waste anyone’s time?
Hello,
There seems to be some serious confusion in your relationship. It appears that your girlfriend is manipulative, demanding and unreliable. This is clear particularly when she pretends to be pregnant so that she can keep you around. It looks like she will go to any lengths to keep you in the relationship.
I find it curious that you have dated for a year but have only just discovered that she has a child. I suggest that you work on your foundation; the things that draw you together, your dream marriage, and when you intend to marry. Try and see if this fits into what your girlfriend believes in.
If I were you, I would be hesitant to be intimately involved, and instead work at making my values, dream and desires known. Right now, it looks like she knows that because you are intimate, she can trick you with a pregnancy.
Sit her down and have a talk. If you have decided to end the relationship, then you must tell her that and give her genuine reasons for your decision. Don’t waste each other’s time. Finally, do remember that it is also not fair to waste another woman’s time experimenting. Try and discover what you want before you get serious. Be focused and principled in what you want in life.


Hello,
I’ve been married for 12 years and have two children. I think my wife and I love each other. However, I constantly find myself looking for extra-marital relationships because our temperaments are very different. I’m easy going, slow to anger and like making jokes while my wife is very serious, gets annoyed easily and hates jokes. We have talked about this ever since we got married but things have not changed. This makes me uneasy at home.
For this reason, I look for women with whom I can speak freely, and so far I have had two relationships, each of which lasted two years. When I don’t have a steady girlfriend, like now, I find myself misbehaving by dating a different woman every week.
This life is very expensive and risky and I would want to stick to my wife. I think I am very selfish, but where do I get the power to control myself? Or should I just live life as it comes? I’m very weak in this area.
Hi,
It can hurt very badly when you know what to do but end up doing the opposite. First of all, the fact that you and your wife have different personalities is not a bad thing because